The collected wine-tastings & wine-ramblings of one who prefers to describe wines with metaphors, not percentages

Old Parn’s Wine Awards 2011, part 2

A week or so ago, I dusted off my red carpet (sorry about those stains — I’ve no idea where they came from) and presented Old Parn’s Individual Wine Awards. You’re a sucker for a bit of that award night glamour, aren’t you?

Which is, of course, why you’re back for today’s second instalment. So let’s get on with it. Mandolin-strummer, step forward; do your strummy thing!

(NO, NOT LIKE THAT. I MEANT ON YOUR MANDOLIN, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.)

Wine retail awards

Best online wine selection

The Wine Society — if you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you’ll’ve gathered that I love the Wine Society as though it were a small, adorable puppy. A small, adorable puppy that brings me lovely, lovely wine. Brilliant.

Best online wine communicators

Naked Wines — These guys are doing something different. For this I love them as though they were all small, adorable puppies that by their very existence somehow subverted the notion of puppyhood while simultaneously also selling some rather good wines.

(Let me know if the puppy analogies cease to be illuminating at any point.)

Naked Wines is firing a champagne cork into the arse of the stodgy, stolid wine world — by according prominence to the wines that normal people like, rather than wines that the establishment recommends. I’m not saying the establishment’s recommendations have nothing going for ‘em, incidentally. But there’s a balance that needs redressing. And it’s a thing of joy to see those Naked folk redressing it.

Best supermarket for wine

Waitrose — Are you surprised? Really? Are you? REALLY?

Best value wine retailer

The Wine Society — Yes, again. I’m not going to apologise. I don’t know of any other wine retailer, online or offline, whose selection of £4.50–£7 wines has such a goddamn high hit rate.

Your Favourite Posts

Finally, here’s my token nod to democracy. Here are the five posts from this ol’ blog of mine that received the most traffic in 2011. I realise that it’s an unjustifiable leap of reasoning to deduce that these are your favourites. But I’m all about unjustifiable leaps.

(Ow. I just twisted my ankle.)

So. Here are 2011′s most trafficked posts:

  1. The Shit Written on Wine Labels
  2. Wine Writing is Broken
  3. Le Froglet Wines (the horror! the horror!)
  4. Five reasons to swear — about wine or anything else
  5. Benjamin Darnault Picpoul de Pinet review

Well. That’s is (I promise) for the gratuitous end-of-year list posts. Thanks for bearing with me through the oscillations of 2011, and let’s clink our glasses in that vulgar way we do in honour of 2012. In daringly Mayan-defying style, I have a feeling it’s going to be good.

6 Comments to Old Parn’s Wine Awards 2011, part 2

  1. January 8, 2012 at 9:10 pm | Permalink

    Oh Parn!
    I love you as much as I love puppies…

    Cheers to a fabulous year,

    Nannette Eaton

  2. January 8, 2012 at 10:13 pm | Permalink

    .@oldparn >> “Naked Wines is firing a champagne cork into the arse of the stodgy, stolid wine world.” Beautiful. http://t.co/b1Ibp3Th

  3. January 9, 2012 at 7:32 am | Permalink

    The usual brilliant irreverance from this blog. Obviously correct about the best supermarket for wine, too. Old Parn’s http://t.co/yshhTvMS

  4. January 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm | Permalink

    We tried using puppy metaphors – but people said we were barking.

    Woof, woof!

    Happy New Year!

  5. January 9, 2012 at 3:30 pm | Permalink

    Congratulations (I think) to @NakedWines for “firing a champagne cork into the arse of the stodgy, stolid wine world”. http://t.co/DbhgbI8y

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