Posts in the category £10-15
… will give you a subtly blossomed English caress — but perhaps leave you dreaming of ecstatic frenzy and phallic symbolism
… will hit your snout like a sharp gust of sea breeze, then indulge your gob with a full, florid plumpness
… comes dressed in an attention-seekingly sparkly top and laughs raucously enough to distract you from your own conversation.
… is one Merlot that can grab onto Old Parn’s ankles any day of the week — soft yet taut; fleshy, springy, grabbable without being podgy
… is stuffed with more fruit that a small child at a pick-your-own fruit farm. But matures a hell of a lot more quickly
… An insecure Alsatian that needs to see a canine psychologist — but has the sweetest breath you could wish for
… will seduce you with a heady waft of fruit, then pull you up, slap you and strap you, look you fucking DEAD in the eye and ask you: ‘Do you think you’re hard enough?’
… will knock you out and stuff a crapload of lilies right in your face. Next thing you know, you’re waking up in a coffin
… has (alas) had much of it winning subtlety beaten out of it — leaving it cowed and wretched, cringing in the corner like a maltreated animal
… is a spirited and jolly bid to make pink and green go together. And is sort of successful.